I’ve been trying, fairly unsuccessfully, to “get serious” about learning Portuguese. For two years.
I bought the Michele Thomas Method for European Portuguese (Beginner and Intermediate), downloaded the Practice Portuguese app, and even bought a package of lessons with an iTalkie tutor.
Most days, I spend five to ten minutes on it, which isn’t nearly enough to really learn a language. Especially when you’re petrified to speak it, like I’ve been.
Despite my efforts to use willpower to get myself to study Portuguese, it’s been fits and starts. With lots of mental ass whoopings between because I’m just not doing as much I “should.”
Here’s what I think is going on and why this might be relevant to you…
If you have to use willpower, it’s usually a sign of trying to force something you don’t actually want to do.
Trying to quit smoking, starting daily exercise, flossing your teeth…
If you really wanted to do it, you wouldn’t need willpower.
With me and Portuguese, I’ve had so much fear around speaking badly and making mistakes – which is guaranteed when learning – that I’ve been avoiding it like a plague of the dragon measles.
Yes, I’d love to connect with neighbors and friends in their native language, but I really don’t want to feel how I think that’s going to make me feel: inadequate and stupid.
So what’s the solution?
Step one: be honest with yourself. Do you actually want to do the thing you’re trying to forcel yourself into doing?
If not, great. Drop it. You don’t have to do what someone else told you to do.
But what if you do want it, and it still feels hard?
That’s where I was stuck. Until I saw a quote from George Pransky:
The only thing that’s ever at risk is that I’ll feel bad for a little while.
That’s it.
I’ve been treating fear like it was going to kill me.
But what’s the worst that can happen if I say the wrong thing?
Someone laughs. I feel embarrassed or maybe a little foolish.
And then it passes.
Is that really so bad?
I know how to feel bad for a little while. I always get over it. Hell, I even think it’s good for my ego to get bruised now and again.
So I asked myself:
Am I willing to feel a little bad in order to grow, connect and do the thing I want?
Yeah. I can do that.
And just like that, things started shifting.
Last week, I ordered my coffee and an avocado toast entirely in Portuguese – without feeling nervous!
This morning, I tried out a new phrase at the dance studio and completely botched it.
I felt a little stupid, but my friends sweetly corrected me. Within a few seconds, my embarrassment was gone and I was smiling again.
If you’ve been trying to push yourself into a change, and it’s not working, you don’t need more willpower.
You need clarity.
Because when you really want something, and you see there’s no reason not to go for it, you become unstoppable.
If you’re struggling with making a change like this, the Clarity & Flow Coaching bundle is perfect.
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Yours in love and play,
Steph
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