I have a healthy obsession with a couple of things right now.
(Well, maybe more than a couple – when I dive into something, I tend to go deep.)
One of them is flexibility.
Ever since falling in love with pole dancing, I’ve become painfully aware of just how not-flexible I am.
The front splits have become my impossible dream.
I’ve been working on them for over a year, and there’s still an agonzing gap between my legs and the floor. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about anatomy and flexibility, mostly out of necessity after pushing too hard, hurting myself and actually regressing.
Recently, I stumbled on a technique promising faster flexibility results in only 10 minutes a day. (Yes, the click bait YouTube video title pulled me in.)
The surprising secret: it’s strength, not stretching, that improves flexibility.
The science: your body limits flexibility to protect you from positions you don’t have the strength to hold. Before you reach your max stretch, your muscles send pain signals to stop you — and voila! Injury avoided.
So if you want to naturally and safely increase your flexibility, build strength. (Check out this video if you want to try it yourself.)
It makes sense and proves itself quite quickly. And so, my flexibility obsession continues.
Meanwhile, I’ve been going down the rabbit-dragon hole of anotherobsession: language learning.
Most programs teach language through memorization, flashcards, and grammar drills. But that’s not how we naturally learn.
We actually learn conversational skills faster by doing less by immersing yourself in hearing the language in contexts you care about.
This “lazy method” means watching movies and TV you can comprehend at about 80%, relying on context and exposure instead of active study or forced practice. Conversational skills become effortless this way.
(For the curious, this “lazy method” is described in this video.)
Why am I sharing this?
First, you might be as obsessed with front splits and Portuguese as I am. (What are the chances, right?)
But more interestingly…
If you’ve been struggling to accomplish something, there’s an easier way.
It may not be a flexibility or language learning hack in your case, but there is a “hack” that works universally:
Everything is easier when you stop overthinking it.
All the mental noise – comparing yourself to others, pushing harder, telling yourself you’re not enough – creates friction that slows progress.
Take my own example learning Portuguese.
Just the other day, I realized how I’d actually been creating my struggle with Portuguese by thinking, saying and repeating, “I’m not doing enough to learn Portuguese. I can’t speak the language,” like a mantra.
It was literally making me deaf and blind to the progress that I was making every day, and it was slowing me down.
Only when I stopped telling this story did I see clearly how much I actually understand and how committed I’ve become.
Doh!
If you’re struggling with something, I guarantee the same thing is going on with you. Because “hard” is a Thought Problem only 100% of the time.
It can always be easier with less thought. Your performance improves automatically, and so does your enjoyment, when you quit overthinking.
Thank the heavenly dragons – it’s not hard to stop overthinking once you really grok what it’s doing to you.
If you’re curious and want to explore how this shows up for you, contact me and say hello.
Let’s have a chat about whatever feels hard or gnarly in your world, and see if we can uncover the simple, lighter way through it.
Yours in love and play,
Steph
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