I’ve been noticing a shift in me that’s been happening in a subtle, slow way. It seems strange to me now and also obvious.
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For most of my life, I have been conditioned to shape my life around getting things done.
It’s a cultural narrative. It’s a family work ethic. It is pervasive in the Western world in particular.
Work hard, get things done. That’s what we’re here for.
I’ve built my life around that. So it seems strange to me that these days I am drawn to spend more time in reflection, more space, more nothing.
And this actually doesn’t mean that I do less.
It does mean that I do differently. The things I choose to do come from a wiser place in me. The ways I choose to do them are often more efficient, and it’s easier for me to drop the things that I was just doing because that’s the way they’re supposed to be done, and instead choose things that actually serve the creation of what I’m after.
But most of all, it changes the quality of how I’m showing up with work. The ideas I get are fresher. The pace feels more easeful on my body and my mind. Overall, it just feels more natural.
And I’m spending an astoundingly large amount of my time in reflection, in wondering about things, in asking myself questions and listening to my own answers.
This is something that in the past I would only do usually when prompted by a coach or perhaps the New Year.
It’s something that I would recommend to anyone to just take a little bit more space for nothing in particular. Or if you want to reflect on something, to just give yourself the time and space to do that.
Take yourself out for a walk with that loose intention or on an artist date. Or perhaps a date with a friend who will just hold space for you while you talk.
Today I was listening to one of my mentors named Mavis Karn, who is perhaps one of the wisest beings I’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking with In person, in real time.
She is one of those people who when she speaks, I can feel the clarity and simplicity with which she sees the world. And that alone shows me something that’s available that I haven’t yet seen.
She was talking about old age. She’s now 86 years old, so she has the right to use that phrase
She said, “Old age isn’t anything like what I used to think it would be. Old age is the same as everything else. It feels like what I think.”
I laughed, the kind of laugh that comes to me with insight when the universe is tickling me with something new.
There are so many things that I think just work differently. I don’t think they operate from, “I feel what I’m thinking.”
I think I’m feeling this relationship or this activity. Or I am suffering as a result of this circumstance. And it simply isn’t true.
It works like everything else.
I create my experience with what I’m thinking, whether that’s old age or my to-do list or my romantic relationships.
If I wasn’t giving myself the space for reflection, I wouldn’t have the room for a new thought or insight like that to drop in.
It’s so valuable to me that these days I’m building my life around creating space. And trusting that everything that needs to get done will happen from there.
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