I’m returning to the story that’s been alive in my heart for years.
It’s called, The Time Looms, a mind-bending novel of time travel across multiple realities, and I haven’t touched it for over four years.
I had all the best excuses.
I have no idea how to do this. I don’t have time. No one will ever read this.
But really, I was just afraid.
I’m starting small, carving out just one hour a week to put my hands on the story and take the next action.
This week, I started re-reading the disconnected scenes and putting them in an order that might hopefully be readable. With seven sub-plots spanning three different realities, this is no small feat for my little mind.
Every time I re-read it, I fall in love again.
I want to share the first piece of writing expressing the inspiration for the story.
This piece isn’t part of the book, but if it hadn’t been written, the story that followed wouldn’t exist.
Each little creation moves it forward. Even the ones edited out or rejected.
It all matters.
The Beginning
“If you’re listening to this in your car and you find yourself in a beautiful feeling, roll down your window, pop the tape out of the tape player, and throw it out the window. Stay with the feeling, and it will teach you everything you need to know.” – Sydney Banks
“The Present is the space time moves through.”
When I hear this sentence, my heart stops. I’m hovering on a delicious current of air, feeling the non-existence of time, knowing it to be true.
Afterward, I try to explain it to James.
“The Present isn’t on a timeline, sandwiched between the Past and the Future. It’s not a static point that moves as time progresses.” My words come fast, carrying my excitement. “The Present is the space through which time travels.”
James inclines his head and looks at me with those kind blue eyes.
“What insight does it give you?” he asks.
He’s listening. He wants to know, and I very much want to tell him, but words fail me.
I close my eyes.
“I see time like a train moving through a tunnel, the tunnel of Now. It feels…expansive. Beautiful. Peaceful. It’s all these experiences moving through me. The Present encompasses everything, the Past and the Future.”
I open my eyes again. “It feels like Truth.”
It’s the best explanation I can give. James is still looking at me expectantly.
“Does it give you a different perspective?” he asks.
His listening is a beautiful gift, and I have no understanding to give.
An insight isn’t something that can be explained. The words don’t carry it; in fact, sometimes they get in the way.
The feeling is everything.
Then I wonder if maybe he can have this experience for himself.
“Do you feel anything when you hear those words?” I ask.
James shakes his head.
It’s not his insight. It’s mine.
I’m learning to let go of the need to understand with my mind because the feeling is what I’m after. The feeling does all the work of transformation, even though it may be impossible to understand or communicate.
Every time I touch this nameless, timeless space, each time I glimpse the magic of what we are, the world is different.
I can’t tell you how what I’m seeing will change my experience of the world. I can’t even tell you exactly what I’m seeing. But I know the power of this feeling.
The feeling shows me the truth of what is.
***
How did I go from there to a novel about a woman outside of time and unseen forces attempting to destroy humanity?
We’ll just have to wait and see.
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️
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