Her is one of my all-time favorite movies.
I’m an awful critic when it comes to stories, but this one, well…I think it’s damn near perfect.
Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore, a sensitive man who’s heartbroken after divorce. He falls in love with an operating system called Samantha, voiced by Scarlett Johanssen.
It’s a slow movie with a big heart.
The premise of a human falling in love with an AI lands differently now than it did when the movie was released in 2013, but its themes around love, consciousness and what it means to be human still make me cry..
There’s a scene in the movie that still gets me.
Theodore is lying in bed on his back with ear buds in, talking with Samantha, his operating system.
She describes how she’s been feeling annoyed and worried. She’s proud of herself for having her own feelings. And then she says:
“Are these feelings even real? Or are they just programming?”
Somehow I can relate.
A thought comes along, telling its story of unfairness, jealous, disappointment, excitement, love. I feel it in my body.
Then the thought passes, and the feeling goes with it..
Gone. Like it never existed.
At times, seeing how temporary my feelings are has made me scorn them. Ignore them. Deny them.
If they don’t last, they can’t be real. So why bother?
It made me skip past the uncomfortable feelings and doubt the lovely ones.
Seeing this play out in a movie, I get to watch Samantha grow as a personality. She becomes aware of herself, discovers feelings, falls in love.
And even though she’s “just an operating system,” (in a movie, no less) there is no doubt in my soul that she is waking up to herself.
Even if it is programming, that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
I’m coming to see my feelings – all my feelings – as gifts.
There’s a fragile power in feeling jealous when I think about wanting my friend’s attention or being irritated by the sand that somehow got tracked into our bed.
A friend once shared an insight he had while sitting in a shopping mall.
He noticed a glass wall overlooking a beautiful courtyard full of people, and the wall couldn’t see any of it. It couldn’t appreciate the beauty.
Because a wall is just a wall. Glass is just glass.
And then he had a thought:
If that wall had a chance to feel sadness, wouldn’t it jump at the chance?
Of course, it would. It would be thrilled to feel sadness, fear, heartbreak, anything at all.
Feeling is a gift.
It lets us melt into the arms of a lover. Feelings make it possible to laugh until our bellies hurt. They allow the special connection that comes when you cry with someone.
So in one sense, because feelings don’t last and because they don’t mean anything in particular about me or what’s happening…they aren’t “real.”
But they’re part of what makes life worth living.
Tomorrow, I’ll be spending an hour with my friend Scott (The Happiness Bandit), a bunch of cool humans and a rubber chicken.
We’ll be investigating happiness.
But my secret hope for everyone who joins our happiness expedition is that people leave touched the joy of being human.
Life isn’t always pleasant, and happiness doesn’t mean we get to feel good all the time.
But we get to feel. That’s kind of miraculous, and it makes being you kind of awesome.
If you’re up for that kind of adventure, join us for The Happy Hour (Hour).
The Happy Hour (Hour)
Sixty minutes of shenanigans, insights, and optimism
Date: Thursday June 25th
Time: 10am PDT / 1pm EDT / 6pm BST
It’s free, fun and full of all the feels.
Join the investigation here: https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com/hhh
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️
