I hadn’t seen my friend in a few years, and he didn’t look good.
His eyes were dull, his shoulders dropped. His skin had a gray color like he’d been carrying a burden for too long.
Then he what the last four years had been like.
His business had dried up. He’d taken a new job where he was stressed and overworked, just to survive. Depression and suicidal thoughts followed.
He’d tried therapy, meditation, even booked himself into a psych ward. Nothing seemed to help.
For a long time, he was just angry at his mentors, angry at me. It felt like everything we’d said about hope and possibility had been a lie.
He wasn’t angry now, just honest and exhausted.
When he was done, I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to ease his pain, but saying, “It’s going to be okay,” felt wrong.
So I waited until something came to me. And then.
I told him what I saw.
I saw a man fighting so hard to stay alive and find his way back to wellbeing that he did everything he knew to do, including checking himself into a mental hospital. He kept searching and trying. He showed up for this conversation with me.
That wasn’t brokenness. That was life refusing to give up on itself, caring for itself with every bit of strength it had.
When I was done reflecting, we sat in silence for a few moments, gazing at each other.
“Thank you,” he said finally, tears in his eyes. “You’ve helped me see something I’ve been missing for four years.”
Once I heard someone say –
Talk to the best in someone for long enough, and the best will speak back to you.
I liked this advice. It felt true.
I thought it meant looking for someone’s potential.
But then I actually looked and what I saw surprised me.
Because in order to speak to the best in someone else, when they are angry, frightened, hurting, lost…
…I first had to come from the best in myself.
The place that sees beyond the story.
I had to feel it to see it.
As I listened to my friend, I felt profound connection.
I stopped hearing the suffering and instead heard the life underneath it. I saw someone doing the only things he knew to find his way home.
No different than me.
I didn’t hear the story of pain. I heard his soul.
And before long, his soul spoke back.
Maybe this is how we awaken each other, simply by seeing what’s already there.
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️
