If you ask which I value more, being liked or being true to myself, I would emphatically say:
Being true to myself. Of course.
But John Demartini once said that values aren’t found in what you say; they’re revealed by what you do.
A recent example comes to mind:
The other day a dear friend of mine shared an idea they were excited about. Really excited. They asked for my thoughts.
So I told the truth.
Their idea has massive potential and is clearly going somewhere amazing, but the words they were using to communicate it right now aren’t connecting with me. And they weren’t likely to connect with potential clients, either.
I went on to suggest how they might find the words to communicate the value of what they’re up to clearly.
Perhaps I got a little bit over-excited myself (after all, I find this messaging stuff fascinating) and overstepped my bounds, because my friend felt like I’d just slammed their baby idea.
But here’s the thing:
I care more about being honest with my friend than I do making sure they’re not pissed off at me. That’s being true to myself.
This was something I learned from my ex-husband:
Whenever I asked him, “Honey, does my butt look big in this?”
He would always tell me the truth. “No, but that dress does make you look a little pregnant.”
Sure, it stung a little, but it was honest. I knew he’d never let me leave the house dressed like a dope.
And if someone asks for my opinion, especially someone I care about, I’m going to share it, with love.
So when it comes to these types of situations and writing emails, blog posts and videos, I really don’t give a fig about whether people like me. It just doesn’t make sense to censor myself.
However…
I’ve been battling a major fear of speaking Portugeuse with the locals. There’s the whiff of needing to be liked, or at least not ostracized, in my inner habitat. Sometimes I freeze up and stay silent.
And then there’s the old habit of saying yes to something I really don’t want to do that still rears its gnarly head from time to time.
I can see evidence that sometimes I allow the need to be liked to stop me from being true to myself.
So do I value being true to myself or not?
Here’s how I see it:
Values are my thoughts about what I value – and those thoughts are changing all the time. Which is why sometimes my actions seem to indicate the value of being true to myself and other times keeping people happy.
My “values” are stories about what’s important to me, and the ones that influence my behavior are the ones that actually look true to me in the moments.
What’s the good news about values being made up?
If you’re not living in alignment with your values (according to whoever told you so) they can change at any moment.
Guess how this might be impacting your business?
One of the biggest reasons entrepreneurs don’t get off their butts and into action is because secretly (or not so secretly) they’re afraid people won’t like them.
Call it fear of being visible, imposter syndrome or perfectionism — the need to avoid the (completely imaginary because it’s not even happening yet) backlash of saying what they believe publicly keeps them from sharing their services.
Well, it doesn’t have to hold you back.
If you have an idea for a workshop you’ve been sitting on for months (maybe years) this is your invitation to act.
On Wednesday, August 13th, I’m hosting a workshop called, Sell Your Workshop in 72 Hours.
I’m going to walk you through a simple process of getting that idea out of your head and launching it into the world fast. Before you can talk yourself out of it.
We’ll get a lot of the work done real-time together on our zoom call, and the rest will be mapped out for you in simple, easy to follow steps.
I’ll show you how to:
– Clarify your offer
– Name it in a way people say YES to
– Create a heart-based invitation
– Share it in a way that feels natural
– Start getting sign-ups (for real)
This workshop is worth at least $195 because you’ll be able to use it and the templates again whenever you want to launch a new workshop. But it’s included in the IMPACT membership, so you save $72 bucks right away – plus you get access to all the other membership features and bonuses.
The real value of this workshop? Getting into action and no longer being held back by what other people might think.
That, my friend, is priceless.
Join the inspiring creatives in our IMPACT community for a playful and practical experience of launching your brilliance into the world. It’s time.
https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com/impactinvite/
Yours in love and play,
Steph
