When I was a kid, I was so trusting that my mother called me naive.
(“Stupid” was the actual word she used, going on to explain what she meant was not unintelligent-stupid, but naively stupid to the fact that people can’t be trusted.)
I believed people meant what they said. Except…
Sometimes people would say something (maybe people like my mother) “I had a great time at church today,” and this little voice inside me would say, that’s not true.
But this was my mother. I was supposed to believe her. Wasn’t I?
I didn’t understand how people could say one thing and mean another. Their words told me one thing, but their energy said something completely different.
I didn’t know that grown ups can lie to me, and even to themselves. So I came to the conclusion that I must be wrong.
I came to distrust the voice in my head calling bullshit.
My mother was right; this made me more than a little naive. It also created a habit of self-doubt that stayed with me for many years.
Today, I’m grateful for that old confusion because it taught me something about the BS detector inside of me.
Rather than blindly trusting others to be congruent – when it’s clear they often are not – I trust them to be themselves. I trust people to do what makes sense to them, based on how the world looks in that moment.
Sometimes, that’s kind and generous. Other times, that’s selfish and mean.
In every case, what they say and do is aligned with what seems to be in their own best interest, based on how the world looks. I can trust them to do that, and to come from a better place when their eyes are not clouded by insecure thinking.
So I usually assume innocence when it comes to other peoples’ motivation. Unless my own vision is clouded, in which case, I can be as judgey as the next human.
But ultimately, I don’t need to trust or mistrust other people to be safe.
I can trust ME. And the voice inside that’s been telling me who was congruent and who wasn’t since I was too young to even know what it meant.
As long as I trust in that, my trust in others is irrelevant.
Knowing this actually helps me connect more deeply and open myself to others, because at any moment, I’ll know if something feels “off.”
Why is this relevant to you?
I bring this same willingness to see the innocence of others to my coaching. It’s a judgement-free space where you can express and be anything.
And along with this comes a deep trust in my inner BS detector. I will absolutely call bullshit, point out potential blind spots, and hold up a mirror to the inconsistencies you haven’t yet seen.
With love and playfulness.
It’s a powerful combination. You get to feel safe to have any experience, and open to receive the loving disruption of powerful, life-changing coaching.
If this sounds intriguing…
I’d love to invite you to an exploratory chat. We’ll get to know each other. You can bring a question or topic you’d like to see differently.
And we’ll take a look together.
Miracles happen in the space of curious exploration and honest reflection.
Contact me and we’ll make it happen. This conversation is my gift to you and pitch-free, a joy to share.
Yours in love and play,
Steph
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