This morning I wake up and something is wrong. Something just feels off.
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My body contracts with this thought.
Except, nothing is wrong. Nothing is off.
I’m in a quiet apartment. My body is relatively at ease. It has no pain.
There’s no catastrophe waiting for me, only it feels like there is. There is a catastrophe in my mind.
So I wrestle with this made up catastrophe and the many forms it takes. The things I’ve done and haven’t done. The things I said that seem wrong under the smoke of this catastrophe thinking. The amount of money that is and is not in my bank account.
I try desperately to find a solution, to find an answer, in wrestling with this catastrophe.
I spend myself with the effort, and eventually, with no energy left and no idea what to do, I stop.
Only then does it occur to me to wonder, “What would really serve me right now? What do I know?”
I know what I need.
I need to spend time listening to god.
Stop trying to find answers in my stormy thoughts and my turbulent mind.
Drop down before all of that thinking into the Space Within and listen.
That’s what I need. That’s all I need.
And it’s here.
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