Today I made a list of ten “competitors.”
(“Competitors” goes in quotes because while they technically serve a similar market, I don’t really think of them as competition.)
Then I wrote down something I admire about each of them.
Patterns emerged.
Passionate, uninhibited sharing
Boldness
Commitment
Big vision
Singular focus
Realness
It’s a version of the Golden Shadow exercise. The traits we admire in others often belong to us, too. We just haven’t claimed them.
But here’s what I find more interesting.
The idea of “competition” only exists because I made it up.
Before that we’re just people creating things.
We’re dandelions in the field. The flowers aren’t checking to see if they’re outperforming the others. You don’t see petals fighting for market dominance.
Each flower just blooms.
I notice how quickly my mind turns admiration into self-critique.
“They’re consistent.”
“I’m scattered.”
“They’re focused.”
“I’m distracted.”
“They’re bold.”
“I’m holding back.”
Stories. All of them.
Curated interpretations built from selective memory and whatever mood happens to be passing through.
So rather than make this into an exploration of Stephanie’s psychology and which of these traits she is or is not embodying…
My attention comes back to the isness of my experience.
Life is quieter. Simpler.
If it tells the story, the story is short.
“Make breakfast.”
“Do the dishes.”
“Write.”
The rest is a jumble of tangled meaning and attempts to define myself in a way that’s familiar and reassuring.
Existence doesn’t require commentary.
It just is.
Lately I’ve been encountering people who are drawn to this simplicity.
A few eccentric friends and the Portuguese poet, Alberto Caeiro. They’re drawn to being instead of evaluating. Experiencing rather than narrating.
Not reflecting on who we are, but simply enjoying it.
It reminds me to loosen my grip on the philsophizing and supposing. All this sense making, and let everything just be.
And here’s the part that really makes me smile:
Even the thinking, the storytelling, even the comparing is all part of the gift.
Nothing has gone wrong.
What if you took your experience 10% less seriously today?
What if the next thought that says, “This means something about me,” was just weather moving through?
If you want to lighten up about those stories of yourself, join me for a DragonHeart Portal session.
It’s a space where we loosen the grip of the narrative and see what’s actually alive underneath it.
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️🔥
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