Everyone thinks I’m crazy when I suggest this…until they try it.
The premise came to me from The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky. Here’s the jist:
There’s no such thing as a problem.
There are plenty of obstacles, challenges, and differences of opinion, but none of these is a “problem” until a human comes along and makes that judgement.
Once something is a Problem – note the significance of the capital “P” – they think about it obsessively, trying to solve it. The more they think about the Problem, the bigger it seems to get.
Now this gets really problematic in relationships.
A dirty dish left on the counter is instantly heaped onto the Problem of “I’ve asked you a million times to put the dishes in the sink. You just don’t care about me!”
Here’s the counter-intuitive strategy George proposes:
If you have a problem, any problem, stop thinking about it.
Stop worrying, fussing and trying. Take a thought vacation.
Let yourself settle. Enjoy your life.
When you do, interestingly, one of two things will happen.
#1 – The “problem” disappears – because it was 100% thought created. Once you stop thinking it, it’s doesn’t exist.
#2 – When your mind is quiet, a creative solution for the problem will come to you. Often one that seems obvious, but couldn’t be seen while you were freaking out.
Hey, I get it. I’m a human, too.
Just in the past couple days I’ve created “problems” like:
How am I going to learn this ridiculously hard choreo?
why I’m not sending the email that’s been on my To Do List all week
stepping into the puddle in my leaky office and needing to change my socks twice
and what to eat for dinner.
Humans are experts at thinking about problems – and not realizing that’s what creates them.
We’ve been trained to try to think our way out of a thought-created problem. This makes things thoroughly unpleasant and rarely gets results.
On the other hand…
When you relax and let your mind settle, you feel better. Your mind is clear. Creative solutions drop in out of nowhere.
That’s why the best ideas happen in the shower, on a run, or when you’re laughing with friends.
A quiet mind finally has the space for a fresh idea to land and get noticed.
But telling you this does little or nothing. Other than possibly inspire an argument about how your problem is different.
So I invite you to try a little experiment.
#1 – Think of a problem in your life. Big or small, doesn’t matter.
#2 – Take a thought vacation from this problem for 24 hours. A week. Or as long as you’re willing to give yourself. And really, don’t think about it.
#3 – See what happens.
When you stop thinking up problems and start enjoying yourself, life gets more…enjoyable.
Go figure. 😉
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️🔥
P.S. If you’ve got a particularly sticky problem that seems insurmountable, book a DragonHeart Portal session. We’ll look at it through the magical lens of truth and see how it transforms.
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