Two weeks ago, I assumed stewardship of the Collaboratorium, an online creative laboratory for artists, technologists and community connectors working on an online peace experiment.
Since then, I’ve been wrestling with budgets, building out tech stacks, wrangling team members across multiple timezones, and trying to turn this beautiful invitation into something people can actually participate in…most of which I’ve never done before, and certainly not at this scale.
I’m having a blast.
It’s also hard work that pushes me beyond the edge of what I think I can do. (Which might be why I love it.)
Just yesterday I was cursing myself for taking this job, feeling indecisive and uncertain about what to do next.
I’m used to taking imperfect action when it’s my own business and my own stuff. I’m comfortable making mistakes and even screwing up publicly.
But now that I’m responsible for a team?
For Steph, that’s a recipe for pressure. I’ve made up that it’s Very Serious and Significant.
I was in such a mood that the thought of quitting briefly flitted through my mind. I didn’t actually want to quit. I was just frustrated and trying to think my way out of a state of mind that temporarily made every option look horrible.
What I really needed was to drop it entirely. Step away. Put it down.
But my cheese and rice, it was hard to listen to what I knew!
My mind was screaming at me to make a decision and get things moving.
So I forced myself (encouraged by my sweetie) to go down to our favorite beach cafe for a virgin mojito bubble tea and a chocolate cookie.
Ninety minutes later I returned to my desk and I knew what to do.
I didn’t even have to think about it. I just knew.
When I was in the swirl, it felt so hard to trust life would come through for me.
But it did. Just like it always does.
It was a good reminder.
And today I moved forward with such clarity that the budget is drafted, the milestones are defined, and the tasks are identified. We might just be able to pull this thing off.
Lean, bootstrapped, multi-lingual and international, held together by duct tape and pure chutzpah.
If you’re curious about the fruit of this gorgeous experiment, you’re invited to a Collaboratorium Oriention on July 13, 14 or 15.
You’ll get to meet the team (and me), connect with creative explorers from around the world, get a taste of the experience, and find out how you can participate.
Learn more and register here: https://radiantiris.org/colab
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️
