I ran across a fascinating story last week about a school experiment. Teachers were asked to stop using the word good with students. No more “good job” or “that’s good.”
At first, the teachers were quieter, needing to find new words. Then, instead of giving approval, they got specific with feedback:
“Wow, you really put time and attention into this drawing. Your creativity shines here.”
Within a week, something shifted in the students. They weren’t seeking approval anymore. They shifted into a curious, exploratory energy. Rather than asking for validation, they engaged their teachers with, “Look what I did!”
Studies tell us why. Hearing good job triggers dopamine and over time can create a habit of approval-seeking.
I started thinking about this in terms of my own life, how conditioned I am to see things as good or bad, right or wrong. Those labels create imaginary distinctions that shape my experience of the world.
I see the same thing happening around desire.
Certain desires are labeled good, others bad. We call some desire practical (and therefore good) versus unrealistic (bad.)
Over time, we might even convince ourselves we want things we don’t — because we think they’re “good for us” — and resist things we actually do want because we think they’re “bad.”
Here’s the powerful truth I’ve been seeing:
Your authentic desires are part of your inner guidance system.
You get to want what you want, without having a reason. And when you give yourself permission to notice and explore those desires, your creative energy is unleashed to create a life you love and a business that truly feels like you.
I would love to share this with you.
If you want to experience this firsthand, I have two spots left in my DragonHeart Portal Conversations before the experiment ends on October 31st.
You’ll emerge with clarity, inspiration, and a gentle disruption of what you thought was possible, beyond any labels you may have put on what you want.
Book your DragonHeart Portal Conversation here before this Friday and we shall play!
Yours in love and play,
Steph
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