I’m in a 7-day exploration right now called Born to Flourish, inspired by the book of the same name by Richard J. Davidson and Cortland Dahl.
One of the studies they mention stayed with me.
Infants 6–12 months old were shown different interactions, and 100% of them showed a preference for kindness.
100%.
In other words, even as babies, we are drawn to kindness, before we’ve been socialized into (or out of) it.
Kindness is our true nature.
We were then asked to think of an incident of unexpected kindness and reflect on it. This is what I wrote:
When I was 15 years old I made a very difficult choice to move in with my grandparents in the middle of the school year. My mother brought me to my old school to collect my things, and I saw my English teacher. He was not my favorite. In fact, I even disliked him a bit.
I was fighting tears, and he noticed. Mr. M. said to me, “Stephanie, you’re going to be okay, no matter what you do. I know this about you.”
It was such a kind thing for him to say, and so unexpected. It touched me at the time and still does almost 30 years later. It was exactly what my soul needed to hear.
Now I see that small moments of kindness are always happening. Sometimes I just don’t notice them because I’m paying more attention to the urgent thoughts in my head. But the moment I think to look for kindness, it’s always there to be found.
There is kindness in the thirst of my body, reminding me to drink water. There is kindness in the warmth of the sun feeling good on my skin. There is kindness in the design of my mind that always settles and quiets eventually, so that I can sleep.
And it’s a kindness that we are drawn to kindness, and we recognize it, even as children. Kindness is how we recognize each other.
What I love about the premise of this exploration is that the ability to flourish is already baked into being human.
We were born with it.
It doesn’t come from our circumstances, and it can’t be stolen away by them. We can only lose sight of it.
It’s as close as breath, and we can never lose it, even in death.
I really like that line that emerged:
Kindness is how we recognize each other.
I know I’m really seeing you when that’s what I see.
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️🔥
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