I used to think I was planting seeds of possibilities in my clients.
I can feel things wanting to happen, dancing in the air around people, just waiting to be chosen.
Years ago, when I was coaching people, sometimes the feeling of possibilities and a Big Vision became so strong I felt compelled to share it.
There was just one problem:
No one seemed to get it.
I’d share this grand vision, the one that had me trembling with excitement, and the client would say:
“Huh. That’s cool.”
Then return to their practically-sized, realistically-paced (and utterly boring by comparison) goal.
And then, six months or maybe a year later, the vision I saw was finally emerging. Only it had been so long since I pointed it out that they never seemed to remember.
Not very satisfying to my ego.
So I soothed myself with the story that I had planted the seed of their future dream, even if they couldn’t remember it.
This continued, with me prophesying possibilities, and watching them mostly fall upon deaf ears, until a couple years ago when I started working with a mentor-coach.
He was listening to one of my coaching sessions and asked why I had shared an idea with a client. “Their ideas are always better for them than yours,” he said.
I took a look for myself.
I saw my ego-driven need to tell them about the possibilities I was seeing, instead of drawing out the ones my client already had. I saw how it fed my sense of self importance, and almost threw up in my mouth a little.
It was then that I saw something.
I wasn’t actually planting seeds. I was merely seeing the seeds that had already been planted, and hadn’t sprouted yet.
My clients didn’t need me to call out the possiblities available. They were already activated, which is why I could see them.
The real impact happened when they discovered possibilities and ideas for themselves.
So it no longer made sense to share my “seed” ideas, and I stopped.
Then I made “don’t share the ideas you see with clients” into a rule. And like most rules about what you should and shouldn’t do, what starts as a good intention, ends up stopping the creative flow.
It wasn’t until the Get It Done (and Have Fun!) workshop experience last month that I revisited my judgement about this possibility spotting.
Jasmyne DesBiens and I offered a bonus “Magic 8 Ball Sessions” to our participants.
The session is named after the Magic 8 Ball toy from the seventies. You ask a question, give them a shake, and read the answer.
In this session, you metaphorically “shake” Jasmyne and me, and we tell you what we see for you.
It was Jasmyne who encouraged me to unleash my seeing.
Because when the flow is unleashed, when it was invited and in service of that client, the words just came, and the truth of it would land.
Without my ego on board, I didn’t care if it was received or not. I didn’t care if they listened. My only job was to deliver the message.
What I’d made up about what “good transformative coaching” looks like had stopped me from doing what I actually know to do.
“What you see matters,” Jasmyne said. “And it matters that you share it.”
So one thing I learned from the launch and execution of the Get It Done (and Have Fun!) workshop was something I’ve talked about for a long time. Only now I was seeing it again, for me.
You get to create your business however you want.
You get to coach your way, sell your way, price your way.
There is no rule about the “right way” to do it unless you make it up.
And when you do things your way, it always feels better, and it tends to be more impactful for your clients, too.
I still don’t want anyone getting the impression that I know something they don’t. The person in front of me is the one-and-only authority on how to live their life.
But if someone is interested in listening to the oracle of life, in the form of Steph, and it’s nudging me to say something, I’m going to open my mouth and say it.
If you have a sense there’s something within that’s ready to be shaken up and known, I’d like to invite you to a DragonHeart Portal conversation.
I’ll listen to what you say, and more deeply to what’s underneath. I’ll share what I see on offer for you.
And most likely, you’ll leave with more clarity and a quiet confidence about what’s yours to do next.
3 of my 5 available sessions this month are already taken. You can still book yours here: https://portal.stephdragonheart.com/dragonheartconversations
Yours in love and play,
Steph 🐲❤️
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