I came across this question in a recent community thread that I suspect you might find very relatable. Just a little bit.

“I have a confidence problem.

I recently put a new page on my website called “Client Love”, which features screenshots of feedback I’ve gotten from clients.

And I noticed that there was a lot of really, really enthusiastic feedback there. Like multiple “wows”, “I’m amazed,” and “blown away.”

Here’s my problem: despite this great feedback, there’s this niggling little worm in my brain constantly whispering, “You’re not really good enough.”

This is problematic because it’s difficult to sell myself as THE answer to my ideal client’s problem… if I myself doubt that it is true.

I guess my question is – anyone have any ideas how to get past this hump? Why is feedback from my own clients not convincing me?

How do I convince myself that my work is valuable, so I can more successfully convince others of this, so that they hire me?

(The commenter included a few screenshots of said rave reviews, and they were truly amazing!)

Here’s my answer:

First, it’s gorgeous that you’re sharing this here with us and even giving us a peek at those rave reviews. Well done! 🔥 That insecurity may not be as sticky as you think. 😉

I feel a similar “ick” at the idea of selling myself as THE answer.

The more I think about myself, how good I am (or not), the worse it gets. And if I try to puff myself up with confidence, it requires a lot of effort, and I’m still fighting an underlying sense of insecurity. (Inflated ego and deflated ego are two sides of the same coin.)

Here’s what works for me:

I don’t think about myself. It’s not about me at all.

The less thinking, the better, and ditching it got easier when I realized that insecure thinking really has nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. It’s just recycled head trash.

Instead, my job is to first listen and understand what this person in front of me needs. If they’re not actually in front of me, the same applies when writing a sales page or email. Understand first.

Then, my job is to communicate what’s on offer as clearly as I can, so they can decide.

Not to convince or sell them. Just communicate clearly and give them the information they need to see if there is a match between their needs and what I can honestly do.

Everything else is up to them. They have the agency and autonomy to decide for themselves.

This keeps it super clean for me. “Here’s what you want. Here’s what I’ve got. Is it a match?”

Tad Hargrave of Marketing For Hippies shares a lot of good material on the sales conversation as a conversation to discover the truth of “Is this a good fit?” Not talking someone into buying.

Here’s his video: “People buy because they’re confident in you, not because you’re confident in you.”

I still get the heeby-jeebies sometimes when I share client love. But lately I find it fun to tweak my ego. It deserves a good, swift kick in the ass sometimes, and there’s no harm done because it doesn’t even exist. 😆

Speaking of giving your ego a kick in the ass…

This week I’m unleashing 4 days of transformative emails for Black Friday through Cyber Monday to celebrate the release of something brand new:

The Simple Shift

A live experience for waking up to what’s holding you back…and stepping into unstoppable clarity.

During these four days, you’ll discover how to:

• Wake up to what’s actually holding you back
• Get clear on what you want
• Take the next aligned step
• Feel what it’s like to be truly unstoppable

(And yes, we will be kicking the ego’s ass lovingly and regularly.)

If you want to step into The Simple Shift portal first, get on the priority list here:
https://portal.stephdragonheart.com/blackthanks

Yours in love and play,

Steph

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