One of my friends shared a Facebook post the other day that gave me pause.

“We often don’t know what we really want until we’re given permission to have what we think we want.”

I read this once. Twice. Three times.

What does that really mean?

Here’s where this gets vulnerable for me.

I’ve wanted (or thought I wanted) some non-traditional things in relationship for years.

I couldn’t even tell you exactly what it was; I just knew that something different than a traditional relationship or marriage was calling to me.

But I never had permission.

So for years I had this thinking and trying to figure it out going on…along with the awareness that it wasn’t allowed. Not by my partner, not by society, not by me.

Until very recently when I allowed myself to really, really have permission to create this.

Suddenly I wasn’t struggling against this “not allowed” thing.

And all the things that came tumbling in with it.

Strangely enough, I found myself thinking, “I don’t want this after all.”

What Would You Really Want If You Gave Yourself Permission?

What I really want is to be authentically me in relationship…something that seems to have nothing to do with what I’m doing…and everything to do with how I’m being.

Am I showing up as me in this moment? In whatever experience I’m having, whether it’s blissful or excruciating?

Am I willing to be in love with myself in all of this?


Let me speak to this idea of being “in love” for a moment.

One of my clients was broken hearted about the end of her relationship. “I just want to fall apart and completely shatter.”

Rather than try to fix or change her shattered-ness, I was there with her in it. I was resting in love with her and exactly what she was experiencing.

We were in love with her shattered-ness together.

She found it possible to relax into a kind of peace by simply being what she was being, without needing it to be something else.

Imagine floating on an ocean of absolute acceptance, supported by the waves, trust it to carry you.

Like that.

That’s what I’m referring to as being “in love.”


The authenticity I’ve been seeking is about being in this moment.

Whatever it is that you think you want…

What if you gave yourself permission to have it?

What if you gave yourself permission to NOT have it?

What if you could be in love with yourself, regardless?

Yours in creative play,


P.S. If you’re wrestling with what something you want (or think you want) and would like to shift your experience…

Let’s have a virtual coffee and Wild Creation chat to see what else is possible. Because there’s ALWAYS something else, love.