The other day I was at the market here in our little town in Portugal.
I spotted these beautiful tiny strawberries, the kind you hope are sweet and juicy. Not the giant, radioactive ones at the supermercado. The tender, honest, probably-grown-in-dirt kind.
I started putting some in a bag, but the gentleman at the booth took it from me. The sign said two euros per kilo, which is more strawberries than I could possibly eat. I wanted to say, “Half a kilo, please.” But he was on a mission, scooping away, determined to unload his strawberries.
And I let him.
Even though I didn’t want that many.
Even though I could have figured out how to communicate it in Portuguese.
Still, I froze. Because some part of me was playing an old story:
“If I say no, he’ll be mad. And if he’s mad, something bad will happen.”
That’s a story I’ve lived most of my life. I’ve created a world of fear, where I have to worry about people getting mad at me, because if they do, it’ll hurt.
So I’ve gone places I didn’t want to go. Bought things I didn’t want to buy. Smiled and nodded when I wanted to run.
It’s not a big deal to spend two euros on strawberries. But it’s not about the strawberries.
It’s the invisible world I’ve created that says, “Don’t rock the boat or you’ll pay.”
After I got home, I came across this meme:
“The only thing ever at risk is feeling bad for a little while.”
And I realized that’s true.
If I had said, “Não, 500 gramas, por favor,” in my broken Portuguese, the worst thing that might’ve happened is that I’d feel a little awkward or uncomfortable for a few minutes.
But the fear that comes up feels like danger, as if I might die from it.
The worst part of fear is feeling bad for a bit, and I can handle that. (We’re born to feel it.)
How much of what we don’t do in business is trying to avoid feeling a little bad?
Not sharing the offer.
Not increasing the price.
Not sharing that raw post.
Because we think it’s going to hurt us.
But here’s the truth: feelings don’t hurt to feel. (They just feel like they do.)
Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. Once I questioned it, it started to unravel.
These days, when the old story rises up, I can feel it, but I don’t move from it. I wait. I breathe. I feel the fear, and, often, choose something new.
That changes everything.
If you’re on this path of seeing what’s made-up, and choosing truth instead, I’d love to invite you into the IMPACT Creators Membership.
We’re a group of wholehearted creators who are unlearning what’s not true, making space for what is, and building our businesses from that place.
It’s gentler and more joyful, too.
If you’re ready to feel supported in this process, being seen, celebrated, and knowing you’re not alone, come join us.
https://www.theawakenedbusiness.com/impactinvite/
Yours in love and play,
Steph
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