A lot of things scare me. (Sometimes.)
Walking along cliffs and rooftops with a long drop below.
Speaking Portuguese to a local and freezing up when I can’t understand the reply.
Swimming in the wild, open ocean where my feet can’t touch the bottom.
And then there are things that some might say should scare me, but absolutely don’t. In fact, they delight me.
Creating and performing a pole dance choreography for an audience. (I’ll be dancing in the January showcase at our studio!)
Selling a new service that people might not buy. (Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.)
Sending this “vulnerable” email. (It doesn’t feel that way to me.)
So what gives?
Well, I only feel afraid when I’m thinking fearful thoughts.
It’s not the situation. Itt’s thinking that only looks like it’s about them.
I’ve made up certain things as terrifying and others as exhilarating, but the things themselves are neutral. They’re just cliffs. Just oceans. Just Portuguese sentences. Just dance stages. Just new offers. Just another email.
Fear comes and goes with thought. It doesn’t mean anything about me. Or the things.
Seeing this sets me free.
Now don’t get me wrong – I still get a knot in my stomach about speaking Portuguese which isn’t remotely dangerous. But I used to wake up sometimes in the dark of night gripped by terror. I can’t even remember the last time that happened.
Maybe it will come back. Maybe it won’t.
I’ve come to see confusion as my friend. It lets me know I’m overcomplicating things with my thinking, and it’s time to come back to the simplicity of what I know.
Maybe I’m ready (for real) to make friends with fear. It’s just telling me that I’m scaring myself, and I don’t have to. I can come back to the space that always feels safe, where I know what to do.
Until then, I’ll continue to dance with fear.
Maybe I’ll work that into my next choreography.
Yours in love and play,
Steph
If you enjoyed this article, join my daily Wildspire emails list here for more playful and provocative musings on business, being gloriously human and changing the world.
