A spiderweb illustrates the trap of transformation workers

Mindset issues and money blocks are NOT the problem.

If I see one more post telling me that “mindset issues” or “money blocks” are what’s keeping me from being more visible in business or making more money, I’m going to slap someone with a spatula, as a good friend likes to say.

It’s not that I don’t get why people say this. I totally do.

When I first discovered “limiting beliefs,” it was so empowering!

I could identify the belief that was behind my unpleasant feelings and undesirable behaviors, work some magic with the tool of my choice (Time Line Therapy, EFT, energy clearings) and POOF! Eradicated forever. 

I saw massive shifts in my emotional well-being and patterns that had troubled me for years.

(Except that it didn’t seem to completely eliminate them most of the time. There was residual shit to dredge up, especially on the “embedded” beliefs, and there were new ones to uncover that were ever-so-slightly different from the cleared one.)

I became a belief-changing machine.

Every morning I spent 15 minutes to an hour finding new limiting beliefs and using my tools to eliminate them. I kept a tally of each belief as I knocked it out. (There are over 159 limiting beliefs, negative emotions and parts integrations on the list, and those are just the recorded  ones!)

It was a lot of work, but I was on a mission to change myself and the world.

I became a certified master practitioner and trainer in Neuro-Linguistic programming with the express intention of helping others have the same empowering experience.

It was SO much better than feeling like a victim of my thoughts and helpless to do anything about them. I didn’t mind the hard and never-ending work of bringing my unconscious thoughts to light.

But something started to feel off.

One day when I was happily relating all this change work to a dear friend of mine, he said, “Why do you always have to change yourself, Stephanie? When is it ever enough?”

I smiled and thought, he obviously doesn’t get it. 

Constant improvement is FUN! I’m a transformation junkie by choice, unlike the muggles who can’t see what they need to change to make their lives better.

While this was somewhat true — I’ve always loved change and expansion — I felt a pang of truth in his words.

Secretly, it looked like I needed to make myself better because I’m not okay the way I am.

Fast forward to February of 2019 at the Genius Catalyst event with Michael Neill where he said:

“I have a thought, call it a ‘belief’ — and then I need a PROCESS to get rid of it.”

I did a double-take. 

In that moment I saw…

These things called thoughts, which I knew were transient and constantly changing, seem to get real and heavy when I call them “limiting beliefs.” Then I need tools to do the hard work of getting rid of these embedded parasites.

These “limiting beliefs” were thoughts like any other, just as impermanent as my random wondering about which shoes to wear today.

Mindset blocks, money issues and limiting beliefs are entirely MADE UP.

My whole world shifted in that moment. I was no longer a transformation junkie.

I stopped clearing beliefs because it no longer made sense. Slowly, I stopped doing this type of change work with my clients.

At first, I was scared that I’d stop growing, but that didn’t happen. Rather, everything got lighter and easier. My path got clearer, naturally.

It used to seem like I had a lot of work to do in order to become my “best self.”

But I also see how this was keeping me trapped in a cycle of “not good enough.”

Path to a beautiful mountain lined with purple flowers

Now, I’m rolling my eyes and groaning every time I read a post about how, “If you’re not getting the income you desire, you need to clear your money blocks and uncover the hidden beliefs in your subconscious…”

Do you really want it to be that hard? 

It can be so much kinder and easier.

Can you remember a moment in your life where you just changed…without doing anything?

One moment you were stuck in a habit or belief. And then next, you weren’t.

You didn’t go to therapy or use a tool to make that happen. You just saw something new, and when a better way made sense, you took it.

This is how it looks to me now:

A client-playmate comes to me stuck in their head about something. Why they aren’t taking the actions they know to do or making the money they know is possible. They feel stuck.

They’re in their thinking wrestling with “the problem,” in a cycle that perpetuates the thought as they spin out trying to fix it.

They think it’s a belief that needs to be identified and removed. It feels stressful, tense, and contracted.

Then we slow down and get present. Their thinking begins to settle. 

Even if that belief still seems true, it no longer provokes such anxiety because we’re just being with it.

Each time they go back to messing with their thinking, we come gently back to Now.

From that place, we begin to explore new thoughts. We look in the direction of curiosity and inspiration.

And eventually, maybe in one session, maybe over a few, they begin to see that something else is possible. 

Once they see that, really, they naturally shift into a new way rather than the old one.

That’s it.

Can it really be that simple?

My personal experience and with my clients say yes. It can be and it is.

This isn’t something you need to believe. Please don’t listen to me, but try it on for yourself.

Take a look. What else might you see about an easier path? Would you like to see something new?

I have so much love in my heart for these devoted, driven change-makers. You’re on a mission to change yourself, and so, the world.

But I also see that none of us really NEED changing. 

You’re perfectly beautiful and okay in every moment, even the not-okayness.

If you want to keep playing the game of digging out limiting beliefs embedded in your nervous system like shrapnel, do it. That’s it’s own type of fun.

But if you’re interested in exploring the gentle path of easeful transformation leading you back to who you really are, then hit me up. 

I still love transformation. I love seeing differently and how the change we create ripples across the universe in love and possibilities.

I’m playing the game of changing the world — not because I have to, but just because it’s fun.

Yours in creative play,

Steph

P.S. If you’re feeling called to play the game of changing the world and gentle transformation…

Right now I have 2 openings for experienced coaches, healers and wellness practitioners to work with me 1:1 on a six-month coaching and messaging journey to connect to your inner wisdom and create your business outside (or upside, downside, beyond-side) the box. 

We craft irresistible messaging woven with your deep purpose, mission and genius gifts to attract your soulmate clients, and discover your authentic way of reaching them with joyful un-marketing. No hype or endless social media posting required. 

This is best suited for good writers and/or speakers who love sharing what they know, and who are ready to create something BIG. It’s currently priced at the mid-four figures, with monthly payment options. 

Contact me if this sounds like you, or if you’re curious, and we’ll have a chat to see what emerges. 🙂

Yours in creative play,

Steph