I destroyed my laptop almost one year ago today.
It was before the official start of the pandemic or the social unrest of 2020, and my own personal disaster occurred in the form of a horchata drink spilled all over my keyboard. (This turned out to be a unexpectedly beautiful experience, and you can read about it here.)
Well, in sad tribute to my horchata-meets-keyboard disaster, I did it again today!
You would think I’d have learned my lesson and to NOT drink my maca-chocolate dandelion tea anywhere near my laptop, but no. I tempted fate, and it got me.
For ten sweet minutes my laptop kept working, until it powered off with no warning.
So there I was, reliving the agony and regret of my mistakes once again. Clearly, I should have known better. Even a hard lesson in the form of a $300 replacement keyboard, weeks of limping along on a slow-as-molasses loaner laptop wasn’t enough to teach me.
Clearly, I’m a freaking dumb ass.
But this story isn’t really about the laptop debacle or getting lost in self-judgement.
Because there I was, bemoaning my fate, cursing my carelessness and quite literally throwing a tantrum, hands balled in fists, mock-screaming…
…and only 90 minutes later I was calmly working away on another laptop.
I watched myself shift from full-on hissy fit to resignation to resilience in a matter of minutes.
My appointment cancelled last minute (dealing with his own emergency) freeing me up to take some much needed space for meditation.
Meanwhile, my amazing partner dug out his old laptop, reinstalled Windows and had it ready to go…without my even asking for it.
I am so well-cared for by the Universe.
This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed things taking care of themselves around me. The most blatant examples of late have been tech fails, perhaps because they usually induce frustration and helplessness.
A few weeks ago, in the midst of the holiday break, my website went down for no apparent reason.
A former student of mine who just happened to be visiting my LinkedIn profile, clicked through to my website, noticed it was down, and emailed me about it.
A familiar fear rippled through me. How was I going to find help in the midst of the holidays when I don’t even have a regular tech guy?
I reached out to the last contractor to do a website intervention for me, without much hope.
Just then, a WordPress contractor I’d hired checked in to see if I needed anything.
Did I ever!
I emailed my former student thanking him profusely for letting me know the website was down — it would have been days until I noticed during my time off — and he offerred his help. (He just happens to be a software engineer who specializes in troubleshooting problems exactly like mine.)
So when my WordPress contractor couldn’t fix the problem, my student stepped in to save the day.
Just. Like. That.
Within a few hours, my website was up and running again. I barely had to lift a finger.
How is it that life seems to be working out for me with such ease these days?
Is it my elite manifesting skills? (Not likely — my “vibration” fluctuates by the minute.)
Am I projecting inner peace in such a way that the world is responding? (I didn’t feel peaceful throwing a tantrum!)
I don’t think so.
Here’s what I’m beginning to think:
Life has always had my back; I’m finally beginning to notice.
And when I’m not freaking out and more or less settled, it helps with the noticing.
It seems as if wisdom is always caring for me, gently pointing to the next step, leading me wherever I need to go.
Most of the time, I’ve been too stuck in my head to notice.
Even if I hadn’t had tech help miraculously appear or a knight in shining armor with a backup laptop, something would have occurred to me once I settled down.
We are so well-cared for and held by life, so well-provided for by the innate wisdom and genius that flows through us.
When we get quiet, we know what to do next. And if we don’t know now, the answer will come.
It always does.
Even with the echoes of “too good to be true” thinking in my ears, I know in my bones this is true.
Whether you’re curious or skeptical, I invite you to join me in the exploration of what sustains you through any storm.
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Yours in creative play,